


A first time

by TD84



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Intimacy, M/M, Self-Worth Issues, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 02:57:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15427509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TD84/pseuds/TD84
Summary: Steve sees through Tony like no one before, and is strong enough to take him on. Tony is no stranger to sex, but intimacy is another matter altogether.





	A first time

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a part of another story I'm writing, but for some reason I wanted to post it separately. I think it holds its own.

Steve took a gentle grip of Tony’s chin, lifting his head up to meet his eyes.

“What I said last night holds true”, he said. “I’m not leaving you.”

Tony could feel a number of unwanted feelings grow from that comment, and the only cause of action he could think of was to lean forward and kiss Steve. At first, the kiss was unreciprocated, but after a few seconds Tony felt Steve meet him, how the hand that had been placed on Tony’s arm this whole time slowly made its way up to the back of his neck, while the other hand found its way around Tony’s waist, pulling him a little closer. Tony was uncertain at first of what to do with his own hands, but as the kiss slowly started changing from soft to showcase a little more longing, he found himself unable to keep them from touching the other’s chest, intent on soon exploring other parts. But suddenly Steve broke the kiss, and took a small step back, although with one hand still protectively on Tony’s neck. Looking like he tried to keep his breathing under control he fixed Tony with a look that was almost stern.

“Are you sure about this, Anthony?”

Tony allowed himself to draw a deep breath, looking straight at the other.

“I’m sure.”

Steve leaned back in to kiss him again, and Tony noticed the would-be-impossible mix of calm and chaos it started in his body. His mind instantly went into overdrive, telling him things like “I’ve never been kissed this carefully before”, “does this mean he feels sorry for me?”, “how have I lived a whole life without being held like this?”, “I should break this off right now”, “it’s a trick”, “you will disappoint everyone you meet”, “his lips are so soft”, “can I keep this up?”, “I’ll hurt him", and so on until his head was spinning. And as if Steve felt his instability, he put his arms around Tony, without deepening the kiss, and all the other thoughts were outnumbered by a single one.

“I feel safe.”

A moment later Steve broke the kiss and looked sincerely into his eyes.

“I’d like to take you to bed now, Anthony. But I want you to remember, that just because you said you were sure just now, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to change your mind. If at any point you want to stop, or pause, or slow down, tell me.”

Tony nodded, and leaned forward for another kiss, wanting more of the softness and not quite capable of taking in the care he was receiving. But Steve leaned back, eyes fixing Tony’s.

“I need you to promise me.”

Tony fought down the wave of discomfort, knowing it was more telling of his sense of self worth than he was willing to admit to at this moment, and taking a deep breath he met Steve’s gaze.

“I promise I will tell you to stop, or pause, or slow down, if I want you to. Now please, take me to bed.”

Being led to the bedroom required more of Tony than he would’ve ever expected. He had to fight down constant impulses to quip or joke or try to take control of the situation, and keep focus on staying quiet and letting Steve pull him gently by the hand towards the bed. Getting to the bed, Steve stopped and looked at him once more, and undoubtedly noticing the discomfort in Tony’s eyes he smiled. Tony’s first thought was that it was a mocking smile, a grin, and he moved to back away, but the grip on his hand tightened and before he could do anything Steve leaned in and kissed him, gently and carefully, and Tony could feel the smile still there, finding it to be genuine. For a moment they stayed in the kiss, and only when they started relaxing, Tony realized his shoulders had been pulled up tense. When Steve noticed his body relaxing, he changed the strength of the kiss somewhat, before moving his lips to Tony’s cheek, then his neck, where they lingered. Tony closed his eyes, unable and unwilling to think of anything but the sensation of tender sucking on his skin, an occasional tongue touching him.

Suddenly it broke off, and he opened his eyes to find Steve pulling his shirt off. Tony marveled at the body before him, wanting to grab at the sides of it and throw it on the bed, but at the same time shy to touch it. Steve moved closer, pulling him into an embrace, and kissed him once more, pressing them together, and Tony found himself wishing his clothes were off so that more of their bodies would touch. But as Steve made no move to remove his clothes, he hesitated, and instead kept kissing. After a while, Steve pulled him onto the bed, as gently as he had led him into the bedroom, and Tony found himself on his back, again suddenly uncomfortable with the carefulness with which he was being handled as Steve kissed his neck and let gentle fingers trace the exposed skin above the hem of his pants. Just as he was about to crack an attempt at a joke, Steve’s gaze bore into his with a sincerity that kept him from speaking, and he asked.

“Do you mind if I remove your shirt, Anthony?”

Tony wanted to joke, to grin or laugh, to point out that he’d never had clothes on for this long in a bed with someone before, but he could only swallow and shake his head, seeing a shift from careful monitoring to something pleased in those blue eyes. Steve kissed him once more, and while their lips were still pressed together, started pulling softly at Tony’s shirt. They kept kissing for as long as possible, while Tony arched his back to allow for the removal of the fabric between them, and then they moved apart as he pulled it over his head. Steve took the shirt and placed it behind him on the bed, then returned to look at Tony. Tracing a finger over his chest, heading slowly downward, he murmured.

“You’re beautiful, I hope you know that.”

Tony wanted to protest, an unease again rising up inside him, but suspected Steve would disapprove if he did. In order to shake the discomfort and shift the man’s intense focus he cleared his throat.

“It’s getting quite warm, maybe we should lose the pants as well huh?”

Steve pulled his eyes from Tony’s torso and looked at him.

“If you want.”

Tony grinned, hoping it looked confident, as he moved to remove the rest of his clothes. He was relieved that he was in fact sporting an erection, though not as hard as he would want it to be. Steve however paid little notice, and rose from the bed to remove his clothes. Tony forced himself to remain on the bed, admiring the other as he undressed. Steve’s erection was more prominent, but the arousal was not evident in his demeanor as he returned to the bed, lying down next to Tony to look at him. Once more, Tony felt discomfort welling up inside him.

“I can see you are ready”, he smiled, raising a flirtatious eyebrow. “What is it you’re waiting for?”

Steve met his eyes and kept them there, silent for a few too many moments for Tony’s liking, before he spoke.

“Do you want me to be honest with you?”

Tony chuckled, unable to keep it from sounding a little nervous.

“Am I not pretty enough for you?” he tried. “You’ve changed your mind?”

Steve fixed him a little sterner with his gaze as he spoke.

“You are beautiful and I want nothing else than to make you come. But I want to do it my way, which is going to be slow and appreciative of every little sound and taste from you. I get the feeling that you’re not used to this, and I understand if it’s making you nervous or uncomfortable. If those feelings grow to outnumber the good feelings, I want you to remember what you promised me. But if you’re willing to try and trust me to do this, I would very much like to carry on.”

Tony couldn’t find it in himself to reply, dark emotions threatening to be exposed at any attempt to think deeper about why what Steve was doing to him was so scary. So instead he just nodded, telling himself that he wanted to play along, and that the reason for doing so was tactical, not emotional. Steve smiled and leaned over him to kiss him once more, slightly more forcefully this time, which Tony found himself welcoming. Soon however, the kiss was broken, and Steve’s lips started trailing down his neck, finding their way along the track his fingers previously had wandered, derailing for a moment to first carefully touch a nipple, then, when the tenderness of it was causing Tony to arch his back up into the touch, suck a little. At the same time, Steve’s left hand was letting its fingers gently touch Tony’s stomach, as if mimicking the faintest piano concerto, making its way slowly downward. Tony again tried to move to meet the touch and make it firmer, torn between pleasant frustration at its softness and another, more disconcerting discomfort at the care. But the fingers just moved with him, the fingertips only ever varying between feather light and careful caress. As they moved lower, another wave of frustration hit when they went to stroke the inside of Tony’s thigh instead of moving to his now much harder cock.

The voices inside Tony’s head that were shouting about the danger of this intimacy were slowly being silenced by a much more pressing choir, dedicated to somehow impel Steve to do something more to him than this slow torture. Groans were starting to make their way out of Tony’s mouth, and this at last had Steve move his lips from his nipple and trace kisses, still painfully soft, down Tony’s stomach. The fingers drawing circles on the insides of his thighs also moved, and Tony couldn’t stop a gasp as they gently moved to cup his balls, the direct touch sending a wave of pleasure through him. A moment after he felt wet lips enfold the tip of his cock and his gasp was followed by a short cry. He looked down, and every part of him wanted to place his hands on that blonde hair and push Steve’s head down, force him to take his cock fast and deep, but somehow he managed to remain still, not counting the shiver of almost unbearable anticipation running though him. Steve also remained still, letting his lips just rest around the end of Tony’s cock for a moment, but as Tony’s shivers started to grow stronger he started moving, slowly taking more of Tony’s length, until Tony could feel himself hit the back of Steve’s throat. Then, Steve started to move his head, slowly, at the same time as his fingers started playing with Tony’s balls. Tony could no longer keep from grabbing a hold of the man’s hair, but managed to fight the urge to push him deeper, and just kept his hand there, feeling Steve move. Tony was fast edging closer to climax, and when he suddenly both heard and felt Steve hum with pleasure, he came undone, coming hard and deep into Steve’s mouth. Steve remained with his mouth around him until the last wave had rippled through Tony, then he withdrew and swallowed. Tony’s mind was blank, but still he tried to find something to say. But Steve shushed him and smiled.

“We’re not done, I want you to stay there.”

Tony drew a shaky breath and watched as Steve got up and moved to sit between his legs. Steve’s cock was even harder now, and Tony could feel it pressing against the back of his thigh. Nervous thoughts tried to make themselves known, but he was too dazed to care, and found that he was perfectly content with obeying Steve’s orders. Steve wetted two of his fingers in his mouth, and gently placed them against Tony’s asshole. Tony tried to keep from tensing, but failed, so instead tried to prepare himself for a certain level of pain. But instead of pushing inside him, Steve just started moving them slowly, in gentle circles.

At first, Tony kept waiting for the penetration, but as minutes passed without anything but the soft touch against his entrance, he felt his body change first from tense to relaxed, then slowly to growing impatient, wanting. Every time he opened his eyes, he found Steve eyeing him, and he tried to look for any annoyance or impatience, but found none, only content attention to Tony’s reactions from the touch.

After a long while, his body started showing clearer signs of wanting more, and he could see Steve smile at the sight of Tony’s cock stiffening once again. Tony’s breathing had gradually become more heavy and now he could hear himself starting to whimper once more. All panicky thoughts of vulnerability were gone, all that existed was what Steve was doing to him, and the desire and need to make the man do something more. And again, it felt like Steve could read his mind, sensing that he was getting to the point of begging for it, because just as Tony was about to say something, anything to make something happen, Steve let the two fingers slip inside him, pressing slowly upwards. Tony cried out in pleasure, a cry that was prolonged by the movements Steve’s fingers started doing. Slowly they were sliding into and out of Tony, and he could not stop is hips moving to meet them.

After a few moments another peak of pleasure hit as he could feel Steve pushing a third finger into him, then shortly after a fourth. He wanted Steve to push deeper, harder, he wanted to take more of the man into him, and he struggled to find words in his scrambled mind, but all that came out was groans and halved words. Steve removed his fingers, which caused a pained groan of loss from Tony, but when he felt the other maneuver himself his breathing hitched. He’d never wanted anything this much in his life, and as he felt the tip of Steve’s cock press against his asshole he gasped, his body vibrating with desire. Opening his eyes he saw Steve, a crack showing in the composure he’d upheld until now, as Tony met eyes that were no longer light blue but dark.

Still, he pushed into him slowly, at a pace agonizing to both of them, and Tony thought he would perish from the feeling of slowly being filled by Steve. But it was divine, and when he was pushed all the way inside, Steve stayed there for a moment, panting from forcing himself to stay in control. Tony could feel Steve's cock twitch inside him, and he stared at the other man, again about to beg him to just fuck him. Steve met his eyes, bit his lip, then obeyed. Slowly at first, pulling out and pushing deep back in, but as Tony started pushing his hips harder to meet him, Steve allowed for some control to slip and Tony could feel the promise of a force that he understood could overwhelm him. Yet he pushed harder, desperate to take more, and suddenly he felt Steve’s hand grab his hard cock, and with only a few strokes he was again pushed over the edge, feeling warm cum flood over his own stomach, and how his orgasm made him clench harder around Steve. This had the other man gasp out, the first uncontrolled sound Steve had made, and Tony could feel him coming deep inside him, Steve’s body unravelling above him, before collapsing on top of him. They both laid in silence for a moment, panting, before Steve carefully withdrew and moved so that he was on Tony’s side, within reach for yet another kiss. After Steve broke it he moved an arm over Tony’s chest and pulled him a little closer.

“Did it feel alright for you?” he then asked.

Tony searched his insides, and drew a shaky breath.

“I’ve never had such sex before”, he admitted, and then he started crying.

At first he wanted to stop, but as he felt Steve pulling him closer still and press a kiss to his temple, he let the tears fall. And Steve kept holding him.


End file.
